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To blame your circumstances on everyone else is an easy way to relieve guilt. Life deals cards that are beyond your control, but you decide how they are played. Loss of job, home or person can be devastating. The choice is yours to curl up in a fetal position or rise from the ashes.
Everyone has a story. We all get hurt. Bend like a willow or snap like an immovable oak. Open to change and be accountable. Learn from mistakes and mishaps. Playing the blame game prohibits progress.
Be aware of the atrocities and focus on the beauty of this planet. Notice when someone is kind, including small, courteous gestures. Too often we think the news is a representation of the entire world.
Stand up! Be accountable for your actions! Playing the victim grows old. Know that you are worthy with a lot to give. Reach out and offer a helping hand. Your world will be a better place.
Michaels and Clark Investigations
Marilyn Dalla Valle
Psychics. mediums, channelers and Tarot card readers predict the future. I am intrigued by the ability to tap into unseen energy and the Akashic records. Why do I want to know what is coming? Am I looking for reassurance that every area of my life will be abundant? What if these professionals tell me everything that my future holds, good and bad? Navigating life’s challenges as they arise is stressful enough. I do not want to spend my days in angst and dread. Grateful for today, I believe in magic. Surprise me!
Are you stuck in a life that is not yours? Do you feel like an observer, instead of a participant? Is your soul screaming because you are not in alignment? If you answered “yes” these questions, it is time to make some changes, albeit small to start.
I immersed myself into my parents’, husband’s and son’s needs, while suppressing my spirit’s cries for help. Financial pressures in the 3D world demand that we work to survive. Our status expectations and chosen lifestyles apply additional stress.
With financial and family obligations, pursuing your heart’s desire is a challenge, but it can be managed. When our children were in elementary school and we were running a business, my husband and I obtained college degrees.
Realizing your dreams involves planning, prioritizing, persistence and patience. Playing the victim and crying in your beer will not get you there. Stop making excuses. Take charge. Manifest your own destiny. Soar! If not now, WHEN?
“Wednesday, December 29, 2021” stares at me from the laptop monitor. What have I accomplished in the past year? Truth is that I squandered precious time, trying to cope with impending loss. Two fine men in my extended family, ages 51 and 54, lost their battles to cancer, one at Thanksgiving and one at Christmas. The most recent deaths were from my children’s generation. Both left grieving parents, who questioned why they had not been chosen to go.
Writing, my daily therapy, was left untouched for months. I turned to wine, food and TV for solace. I had no focus to read and could not concentrate on a television program for more than twenty minutes. All I wanted to do was seek the security of my bed and crawl under the covers. To others, I appeared in control, but deep down, I knew that I was on the brink of depression and had to dig into my grounding toolbox, to avoid falling into the dark hole.
My husband transitioned to the other side seven years ago from leukemia. I am proud that I had the strength to work, write, move to another state, volunteer and redefine myself. I still have difficult moments, but I ride them out, confident that they will pass.
I am back on track from the latest heartbreaks, practicing what I preached in previous postings.
- Limit alcohol. It is a depressant
- Eat nutritious food
- Exercise- I walk at least three miles a day, plus golf, dance or take exercise classes via zoom
- Learn something new. I took golf lessons
- Volunteer. Helping others keeps your mind off yourself.
- Write a gratitude list.
- If you are grieving, talk to your loved one and watch for signs. They will appear when you least expect them. Coins, feathers, songs, numbers, misbehaving electronics, memories and scents are a few ways to let you know that he/she is closer than you think.
Mind, body and spirit are connected. Keep moving. They require daily attention. Be good to yourself, find quiet time and connect with nature. There is no magic bullet. It takes effort to hit the curve balls life throws.
Fall is a popular time to find a farm that offers hayrides and the maize maze, paths cut through harvested corn fields to challenge the brave at heart. Regardless of the weather, confinement by towering stalks, triggers latent claustrophobia. Self-confidence and trust temper panic. Putting one foot in front of the other, the exit eventually appears and the heart rate returns to normal.
Every day is a leg in the maze of life. The exit we seek is the transition to home, yet we fear death. Humans are impatient to know what lies ahead, which is why tarot card readers and psychics are in demand. The shakier the outside world appears, the more desperate we are to peer into the crystal ball.
As emotional creatures, we struggle for equilibrium. Our hearts can be broken or bursting with joy. Below are some tips for self-care that can help in good times and in bad:
- Rest. Give yourself time to reflect and recuperate.
- Nutrition. Eat nourishing food
- Hydrate. Drink lots of water. Stay away from sugary drinks and caffeine.
- Exercise. Find a way to move your body.
- Music. Discover what resonates
- Gratitude. Make a list of your blessings
- Smile. If your heart is heavy, fake it until you make it.
- Help. Step outside yourself and give to another.
In my 71 years, I learned that most of my misery was fabricated by my ego. I worried about the worse case scenarios that never materialized. Fear and insecurity robbed me of joy. Time was wasted arguing, instead of enjoying my loved ones and this wondrous planet. Each of us is on a unique path. Our lessons are our own. Take care of mind, body and spirt. It is about the journey, not the destination. Below are some tips to lead a happy life.
- Think and act from a place of love, for yourself and others. If you allow fear to rule your thoughts and actions, the lower vibrations of jealousy, anger, anxiety and hatred will rule
- Express gratitude. Make a list daily if you need to jog your memory. My mother used to spout the saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” Whatever your circumstances, there is always something for which to be grateful.
- Be positive. Negativity turns minor inconveniences into dramatic events. Stuff happens. Your perception and response dictate the experience.
- SMILE. Be friendly and considerate to others. You receive what you project.
- Slow down. Do not overcommit. Set priorities and discard the inconsequential. Time with loved ones is precious.
- Feed the soul. Get grounded in nature and doing what you love.
- Trust your intuition.
Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.
Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.
There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch. Keep going, if only by baby steps.
With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.
Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and bells ringing. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me throughout the day, every day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones are reaching across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.
Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart and look around.
I tell people to face fears, push outside the comfort zone, ignore negative messages from ego and be self-confident, but when the arrow is pointed at me, I buckle with self-doubt. Walking into a room filled with strangers, speaking in front of a crowd, going to an interview, entering a competition and dating throw me into panic mode. I forget that I am a spiritual being here to learn. Some experiences are painful. Ego screams that I fall short, regardless of the scenario. It is easier to run away from possible joy than to feel disappointment, rejection and hurt.
How do I move forward? The answer is self-love. I am a work in progress and can only share what I have learned from great teachers. When challenged by a situation that has me on the ropes, I take time-out to get grounded by immersing myself into what makes my heart sing. For me, nature, music, walks with my dog and dance bring me back to center. I remember who I am, a beautiful soul within flesh and bones. Others may find their sacred space with meditation, gardening, cooking, building, sewing, etc. Taking time for yourself is not selfish. You cannot serve if you are depressed and depleted.
Life would be boring without challenges. Walk boldly with love and leave fear home, in the closet with ego.