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Fall is a popular time to find a farm that offers hayrides and the maize maze, paths cut through harvested corn fields to challenge the brave at heart. Regardless of the weather, confinement by towering stalks, triggers latent claustrophobia. Self-confidence and trust temper panic. Putting one foot in front of the other, the exit eventually appears and the heart rate returns to normal.
Every day is a leg in the maze of life. The exit we seek is the transition to home, yet we fear death. Humans are impatient to know what lies ahead, which is why tarot card readers and psychics are in demand. The shakier the outside world appears, the more desperate we are to peer into the crystal ball.
As emotional creatures, we struggle for equilibrium. Our hearts can be broken or bursting with joy. Below are some tips for self-care that can help in good times and in bad:
- Rest. Give yourself time to reflect and recuperate.
- Nutrition. Eat nourishing food
- Hydrate. Drink lots of water. Stay away from sugary drinks and caffeine.
- Exercise. Find a way to move your body.
- Music. Discover what resonates
- Gratitude. Make a list of your blessings
- Smile. If your heart is heavy, fake it until you make it.
- Help. Step outside yourself and give to another.
In my 71 years, I learned that most of my misery was fabricated by my ego. I worried about the worse case scenarios that never materialized. Fear and insecurity robbed me of joy. Time was wasted arguing, instead of enjoying my loved ones and this wondrous planet. Each of us is on a unique path. Our lessons are our own. Take care of mind, body and spirt. It is about the journey, not the destination. Below are some tips to lead a happy life.
- Think and act from a place of love, for yourself and others. If you allow fear to rule your thoughts and actions, the lower vibrations of jealousy, anger, anxiety and hatred will rule
- Express gratitude. Make a list daily if you need to jog your memory. My mother used to spout the saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” Whatever your circumstances, there is always something for which to be grateful.
- Be positive. Negativity turns minor inconveniences into dramatic events. Stuff happens. Your perception and response dictate the experience.
- SMILE. Be friendly and considerate to others. You receive what you project.
- Slow down. Do not overcommit. Set priorities and discard the inconsequential. Time with loved ones is precious.
- Feed the soul. Get grounded in nature and doing what you love.
- Trust your intuition.
Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.
Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.
There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch. Keep going, if only by baby steps.
With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.
Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and bells ringing. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me throughout the day, every day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones are reaching across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.
Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart and look around.
I tell people to face fears, push outside the comfort zone, ignore negative messages from ego and be self-confident, but when the arrow is pointed at me, I buckle with self-doubt. Walking into a room filled with strangers, speaking in front of a crowd, going to an interview, entering a competition and dating throw me into panic mode. I forget that I am a spiritual being here to learn. Some experiences are painful. Ego screams that I fall short, regardless of the scenario. It is easier to run away from possible joy than to feel disappointment, rejection and hurt.
How do I move forward? The answer is self-love. I am a work in progress and can only share what I have learned from great teachers. When challenged by a situation that has me on the ropes, I take time-out to get grounded by immersing myself into what makes my heart sing. For me, nature, music, walks with my dog and dance bring me back to center. I remember who I am, a beautiful soul within flesh and bones. Others may find their sacred space with meditation, gardening, cooking, building, sewing, etc. Taking time for yourself is not selfish. You cannot serve if you are depressed and depleted.
Life would be boring without challenges. Walk boldly with love and leave fear home, in the closet with ego.
Turning around every facet of your life may seem overwhelming and impossible. Over the weekend, I had the pleasure to spend a day with a remarkable woman. Her life has been one of struggle and accomplishment. She shared a piece of wisdom, that can be used in any situation. “Once I learned that there are resources, used them and took action, everything in my life changed.” She worked hard and opportunities knocked on her door.
Resources can include professionals, support groups, printed materials, internet, networking, friends, neighbors and videos, to name a few. The universe provides help. Just ask and “shake through it.” Life is magical.
How much of your life is wasted, while you play the what if game?
- What if I fail?
- What if I never find my soulmate?
- What if I don’t get the job?
- What if all my dreams don’t come true?
- What if I am abandoned?
- What if others laugh at me?
Time is a precious commodity. Think of it as currency. Is your priority to throw it away on negative thoughts? You cannot control what life throws at you, but you determine your response. Many disappointments and closed doors direct you to a better path. Trust that you are loved and supported. Turn off the news and take a walk. Focus on beauty and the arts, whatever feeds your soul. Go with the energetic flow and resist the temptation to swim against the current. Drop the drama. Be grateful in the moment. Inner peace is the reward.
Love or fear, the choice is yours.
Callous and crude as the title seems, it got your attention. To put it nicely, we humans are control freaks. Our egos tell us to take charge, to be in control. Look back on the most befuddled times in your life. Were they caused by being blindsided by life, when you thought you had all your ducks in a row?
Each of us has been assigned guides and/or guardian angels. Our blueprints for soul growth are drawn before incarnation, but we are not abandoned to fumble through planet Earth’s lessons. We are never alone, although we may experience loneliness. Our guides cannot interfere because we have free will, but they are ready to assist, if we ask. My guides help me find lost articles, parking spaces and give guidance on life altering decisions.
Six years ago, I was directed to my current home and city. Because it felt right, I moved 500 miles to a place where I knew no one. I never doubted or regretted that decision. Most recently, I went to the post office to mail a letter. After I had parked the car, a thought popped into my head to go to the drive-in mailbox, which I never use. As the letter dropped into the box, a cloud burst. Had I not listened, I would have been drenched, while walking back to the car.
We rush through our lifetimes, striving for the next goal, without enjoying here and now. No one is guaranteed tomorrow and yesterday is gone. Slow down, ask for help and quiet the chatter. Your spirit team will answer. Some people hear voices, others see images in their minds. My guidance comes in the form of feeling. If something does not feel right, I head for the hills.
Start communicating with your guides, by asking for help with little things, for example, finding a parking space. Trust the answer and express your gratitude. Assistance is at your fingertips, just ask, shut-up and listen.
Do you feel weird? Do you bury your true self to be accepted? Surrounded by friends and loved ones, do you harbor loneliness?
This is natural for those who are awakening to the collective consciousness. As the vibration rises, relationships may fall away.
Each follows a pre-incarnation blueprint, peppered with free will. Paths intersect while serving a mutual purpose, then deviate when the connection is no longer in alignment.
Many are lost because they put up facades and play roles to please others. A unique soul, having a human experience, remember who you are. Listen to your inner voice and be true to yourself. Your bright light will draw souls of the same vibration. Supported by unconditional love, you are never alone.
Are you looking for that special someone to make you happy? Are you looking for security, comfort or intimacy? Do you fear being alone, the one in the corner, not picked?
Love is a complicated emotion. Many seek to fill a hole. Whatever the need, the burden is placed on Mr. or Ms. Right for fulfillment.
The first place to look is within. Do you love yourself, regardless of your perceived flaws? Do you accept who you are? Is your heart open to give and receive love?
Happiness flows from living in the moment with gratitude. External people or things can only provide temporary elation. Like icing on the cake, they enhance what is already inside.