10 steps to Inner Peace and Harmony

  1. Intention: When you get up in the morning, say with enthusiasm, “This is a great day!”
  2. Clean the clutter: Your home should be a sanctuary from the outside world’s chaos. Deal with mail as it comes in and discard or donate what you do not need. Your piled excess may be another’s treasure. Repurpose what you can.
  3. Date yourself: Pursue what makes your heart sing. If necessary, get up an hour earlier when the house is quiet.
  4. Exercise: Keep the body moving for good health. Choose a variety of activities that you enjoy. Make it playtime.
  5. Face your fears:  We make our own jails. Most worries never happen. Precious time and energy that could have been spent pursuing your passions are lost forever. Fear and Love cannot coexist. Choose loving thoughts.
  6. Gratitude: At least once a week, write ten items for which you are thankful. Alternative: Go over them in your mind while exercising.
  7. Self-love: Stop the negative narrative in your head. You are perfect.   
  8. No comparison: Stop comparing yourself to others. You are on your own journey. Follow your heart without worrying what other people think.
  9. Empathy: Put yourself in the other guy’s shoes. Be kind, compassionate and serve humanity in your own gifted way.
  10. Focus: Look for good and beauty. As per Dr. Wayne Dyer, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Reflections

In my 71 years, I learned that most of my misery was fabricated by my ego. I worried about the worse case scenarios that never materialized. Fear and insecurity robbed me of joy. Time was wasted arguing, instead of enjoying my loved ones and this wondrous planet. Each of us is on a unique path. Our lessons are our own. Take care of mind, body and spirt. It is about the journey, not the destination. Below are some tips to lead a happy life.

  • Think and act from a place of love, for yourself and others. If you allow fear to rule your thoughts and actions, the lower vibrations of jealousy, anger, anxiety and hatred will rule
  • Express gratitude. Make a list daily if you need to jog your memory. My mother used to spout the saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” Whatever your circumstances, there is always something for which to be grateful.
  • Be positive. Negativity turns minor inconveniences into dramatic events. Stuff happens. Your perception and response dictate the experience.
  • SMILE. Be friendly and considerate to others. You receive what you project.
  • Slow down. Do not overcommit. Set priorities and discard the inconsequential. Time with loved ones is precious.  
  • Feed the soul. Get grounded in nature and doing what you love.
  • Trust your intuition.

Divided at Death

Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.

Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.

There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch.  Keep going, if only by baby steps.

With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.

Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and bells ringing. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me throughout the day, every day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones are reaching across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.

Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart and look around.

Single lit candle with quite flame on black background

Walk the Talk

I tell people to face fears, push outside the comfort zone, ignore negative messages from ego and be self-confident, but when the arrow is pointed at me, I buckle with self-doubt. Walking into a room filled with strangers, speaking in front of a crowd, going to an interview, entering a competition and dating throw me into panic mode. I forget that I am a spiritual being here to learn. Some experiences are painful. Ego screams that I fall short, regardless of the scenario. It is easier to run away from possible joy than to feel disappointment, rejection and hurt.

How do I move forward? The answer is self-love. I am a work in progress and can only share what I have learned from great teachers. When challenged by a situation that has me on the ropes, I take time-out to get grounded by immersing myself into what makes my heart sing. For me, nature, music, walks with my dog and dance bring me back to center. I remember who I am, a beautiful soul within flesh and bones. Others may find their sacred space with meditation, gardening, cooking, building, sewing, etc. Taking time for yourself is not selfish. You cannot serve if you are depressed and depleted.

Life would be boring without challenges. Walk boldly with love and leave fear home, in the closet with ego.

Just Ask!

Turning around every facet of your life may seem overwhelming and impossible.  Over the weekend, I had the pleasure to spend a day with a remarkable woman.  Her life has been one of struggle and accomplishment. She shared a piece of wisdom, that can be used in any situation.  “Once I learned that there are resources, used them and took action, everything in my life changed.” She worked hard and opportunities knocked on her door.

Resources can include professionals, support groups, printed materials, internet, networking, friends, neighbors and videos, to name a few. The universe provides help. Just ask and “shake through it.” Life is magical.

Wasted

How much of your life is wasted, while you play the what if game? 

  • What if I fail?
  • What if I never find my soulmate?
  • What if I don’t get the job?
  • What if all my dreams don’t come true?
  • What if I am abandoned?
  • What if others laugh at me?

Time is a precious commodity. Think of it as currency.  Is your priority to throw it away on negative thoughts? You cannot control what life throws at you, but you determine your response. Many disappointments and closed doors direct you to a better path. Trust that you are loved and supported. Turn off the news and take a walk. Focus on beauty and the arts, whatever feeds your soul. Go with the energetic flow and resist the temptation to swim against the current. Drop the drama. Be grateful in the moment. Inner peace is the reward.

Love or fear, the choice is yours. 

Shut-up and Listen

Callous and crude as the title seems, it got your attention.  To put it nicely, we humans are control freaks. Our egos tell us to take charge, to be in control. Look back on the most befuddled times in your life. Were they caused by being blindsided by life, when you thought you had all your ducks in a row?

Each of us has been assigned guides and/or guardian angels. Our blueprints for soul growth are drawn before incarnation, but we are not abandoned to fumble through planet Earth’s lessons. We are never alone, although we may experience loneliness. Our guides cannot interfere because we have free will, but they are ready to assist, if we ask. My guides help me find lost articles, parking spaces and give guidance on life altering decisions. 

Six years ago, I was directed to my current home and city. Because it felt right, I moved 500 miles to a place where I knew no one. I never doubted or regretted that decision. Most recently, I went to the post office to mail a letter. After I had parked the car, a thought popped into my head to go to the drive-in mailbox, which I never use. As the letter dropped into the box, a cloud burst. Had I not listened, I would have been drenched, while walking back to the car.

We rush through our lifetimes, striving for the next goal, without enjoying here and now. No one is guaranteed tomorrow and yesterday is gone. Slow down, ask for help and quiet the chatter. Your spirit team will answer. Some people hear voices, others see images in their minds. My guidance comes in the form of feeling. If something does not feel right, I head for the hills.  

Start communicating with your guides, by asking for help with little things, for example, finding a parking space. Trust the answer and express your gratitude. Assistance is at your fingertips, just ask, shut-up and listen.

Odd Ball

Do you feel weird? Do you bury your true self to be accepted? Surrounded by friends and loved ones, do you harbor loneliness?

This is natural for those who are awakening to the collective consciousness. As the vibration rises, relationships may fall away.

Each follows a pre-incarnation blueprint, peppered with free will. Paths intersect while serving a mutual purpose, then deviate when the connection is no longer in alignment.

Many are lost because they put up facades and play roles to please others. A unique soul, having a human experience, remember who you are. Listen to your inner voice and be true to yourself. Your bright light will draw souls of the same vibration. Supported by unconditional love, you are never alone.

Looking for Love for All the Wrong Reasons

Are you looking for that special someone to make you happy? Are you looking for security, comfort or intimacy? Do you fear being alone, the one in the corner, not picked?

Love is a complicated emotion. Many seek to fill a hole. Whatever the need, the burden is placed on Mr. or Ms. Right for fulfillment.  

The first place to look is within. Do you love yourself, regardless of your perceived flaws? Do you accept who you are? Is your heart open to give and receive love?

Happiness flows from living in the moment with gratitude.  External people or things can only provide temporary elation. Like icing on the cake, they enhance what is already inside. 

Magic

When I was a child, I thought adults knew everything, especially grandparents. I was wrong. The older I become, the more questions I ask. Magic is everywhere, but we are too blind to see it. I marvel that we are all unique. There are no two snowflakes alike. It has been discovered that trees communicate. Mother trees help seedlings to grow. I marvel at nature’s coding. Seeds contain instructions. With the proper soil, light and water, they flourish.

Humans struggle for balance between freedom and government. Bees and ants have complex societies, which provide food, shelter and protection. Worker bees can carry half their weight of pollen in hairy receptacles on their hind legs. Ants carry loads much larger than themselves.

Look at yourself to see an awesome creation. Think of the complex systems that keep you alive without your direction. Bones mend and antibodies attack illness. Food breaks down to usable nutrients, cells grow, blood flows, waste excretes, oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange. The brain is the command center for our ability to think, talk, feel, see, hear, remember, walk, breathing.

Stopping to smell the roses taught me to look beyond what I took for granted. Creation is magic, more mysterious than coincidence, accident or human creation. Explore the unseen, for it is more than the seen. The joy is in the discovery journey.