Author Archives: mlyndv

Decisions

My son commented that his adult children do not always make good decisions. My response was that my children do not always make good decisions. At age seventy-two, I have had a lot of practice making decisions and I still make bad ones, by my criteria. Life offers multiple paths. Whichever ones we choose, we will always wonder where the others would have led.

Society, culture, geographic location, religion, spirituality, parental expectations, media and education shape our opinions. Innocent at birth, we are taught prejudice. As adults, we judge others, who are not our carbon copies. If our children choose different lifestyles, we blame ourselves for failing at their indoctrination. Each of us is on a personal journey to advance our souls. God gave us free will to learn and grow.

Decisions are not good or bad. They open doors to new experiences. Some of them may teach us never to make that choice again, but others may open our eyes to new possibilities. It takes courage to be a maverick. This world would never have advanced without those who questioned the status quo and thought outside the box.

Be bold. If you make a mistake, by your standards, dust yourself off and try again. Life is a wild ride for those willing to buy a ticket.

Ditch the Blame Game

To blame your circumstances on everyone else is an easy way to relieve guilt. Life deals cards that are beyond your control, but you decide how they are played. Loss of job, home or person can be devastating. The choice is yours to curl up in a fetal position or rise from the ashes.

Everyone has a story. We all get hurt. Bend like a willow or snap like an immovable oak. Open to change and be accountable. Learn from mistakes and mishaps. Playing the blame game prohibits progress.

Be aware of the atrocities and focus on the beauty of this planet. Notice when someone is kind, including small, courteous gestures. Too often we think the news is a representation of the entire world.

Stand up! Be accountable for your actions! Playing the victim grows old. Know that you are worthy with a lot to give. Reach out and offer a helping hand.  Your world will be a better place.

Ditch the Baggage

Ditch the baggage. It’s too heavy to carry. Life’s journey accumulates injuries that appear to heal, but beneath the scar, mental anguish continues to fester. Many years pass, but the hurt is as fresh as the day it was inflicted.

History is not part of today and tomorrow. Obstacles are challenging without yesterday’s weight. Kick it to the curb. Whatever happened is not relevant today. Take out the whiteboard and lots of markers to create a new day.

The pain of the past cannot be deleted. Open to feeling everything, good and bad. Let it flow like a wave. Do not cling to and regurgitate the trauma.

Feel the breeze on your cheeks. Hear the birds’ morning songs. Breathe fresh air into your lungs. See the wonders of nature. Live, Love, Laugh and be Happy. Today is a new day.

Sanctuary or Battle Ground

Home should be a place of peace and harmony, a plug to recharge depleted batteries. World’s strife should stay on the doorstep with the door barred. We should be aware and compassionate but learn to let go of situations beyond our control.

Too often we take home the day’s problems, turn on the news and escalate our stress and anxiety. Without realizing it, we take out our frustrations on those we love the most. Our anger flares and we say things that we would never say to a stranger or colleague. An insignificant issue can be the match that starts a raging inferno.

Suggestions for maintaining a happy home:

  1. Watch news in the morning when rested
  2. Discuss inappropriate behaviors. Do not resort to name calling.
  3. Ignore trivial annoying habits and accept them as part of the person
  4. Say “I love you” often. I read something fifty years ago that the word money is used more in a home than the word love. We can turn that around in our homes.
  5. Sleep eight hours per night.
  6. Eat nutritious meals with the family. Lines of communication open around the dinner table.

Peace and harmony are lofty goals in a bustling household with crazy schedules, but worth the effort. We have the power to change. World peace begins at home.

Read for FREE on Kindle Vella

Michaels and Clark Investigations

Marilyn Dalla Valle

DETAILS

ASIN:

B09WCFR6QZ

Surprise Me!

Psychics. mediums, channelers and Tarot card readers predict the future. I am intrigued by the ability to tap into unseen energy and the Akashic records. Why do I want to know what is coming? Am I looking for reassurance that every area of my life will be abundant? What if these professionals tell me everything that my future holds, good and bad? Navigating life’s challenges as they arise is stressful enough. I do not want to spend my days in angst and dread. Grateful for today, I believe in magic. Surprise me!

If not now, WHEN?

Are you stuck in a life that is not yours? Do you feel like an observer, instead of a participant? Is your soul screaming because you are not in alignment? If you answered “yes” these questions, it is time to make some changes, albeit small to start.

I immersed myself into my parents’, husband’s and son’s needs, while suppressing my spirit’s cries for help. Financial pressures in the 3D world demand that we work to survive. Our status expectations and chosen lifestyles apply additional stress.

With financial and family obligations, pursuing your heart’s desire is a challenge, but it can be managed. When our children were in elementary school and we were running a business, my husband and I obtained college degrees.

Realizing your dreams involves planning, prioritizing, persistence and patience. Playing the victim and crying in your beer will not get you there. Stop making excuses. Take charge. Manifest your own destiny. Soar! If not now, WHEN?

Grief and Depression – Practiced What I Preached

“Wednesday, December 29, 2021” stares at me from the laptop monitor. What have I accomplished in the past year? Truth is that I squandered precious time, trying to cope with impending loss. Two fine men in my extended family, ages 51 and 54, lost their battles to cancer, one at Thanksgiving and one at Christmas. The most recent deaths were from my children’s generation. Both left grieving parents, who questioned why they had not been chosen to go.

Writing, my daily therapy, was left untouched for months. I turned to wine, food and TV for solace. I had no focus to read and could not concentrate on a television program for more than twenty minutes. All I wanted to do was seek the security of my bed and crawl under the covers. To others, I appeared in control, but deep down, I knew that I was on the brink of depression and had to dig into my grounding toolbox, to avoid falling into the dark hole.

My husband transitioned to the other side seven years ago from leukemia. I am proud that I had the strength to work, write, move to another state, volunteer and redefine myself. I still have difficult moments, but I ride them out, confident that they will pass.

I am back on track from the latest heartbreaks, practicing what I preached in previous postings.

  1. Limit alcohol. It is a depressant
  2. Eat nutritious food
  3. Exercise- I walk at least three miles a day, plus golf, dance or take exercise classes via zoom
  4. Learn something new.  I took golf lessons
  5. Volunteer. Helping others keeps your mind off yourself.
  6. Write a gratitude list.
  7. If you are grieving, talk to your loved one and watch for signs. They will appear when you least expect them. Coins, feathers, songs, numbers, misbehaving electronics, memories and scents are a few ways to let you know that he/she is closer than you think.

Mind, body and spirit are connected. Keep moving. They require daily attention.  Be good to yourself, find quiet time and connect with nature. There is no magic bullet. It takes effort to hit the curve balls life throws.

Navigating the Maze

Fall is a popular time to find a farm that offers hayrides and the maize maze, paths cut through harvested corn fields to challenge the brave at heart. Regardless of the weather, confinement by towering stalks, triggers latent claustrophobia. Self-confidence and trust temper panic. Putting one foot in front of the other, the exit eventually appears and the heart rate returns to normal.

Every day is a leg in the maze of life. The exit we seek is the transition to home, yet we fear death. Humans are impatient to know what lies ahead, which is why tarot card readers and psychics are in demand. The shakier the outside world appears, the more desperate we are to peer into the crystal ball.

As emotional creatures, we struggle for equilibrium. Our hearts can be broken or bursting with joy. Below are some tips for self-care that can help in good times and in bad:

  1. Rest. Give yourself time to reflect and recuperate.
  2. Nutrition. Eat nourishing food
  3. Hydrate. Drink lots of water. Stay away from sugary drinks and caffeine.
  4. Exercise. Find a way to move your body.
  5. Music. Discover what resonates
  6. Gratitude. Make a list of your blessings
  7. Smile. If your heart is heavy, fake it until you make it.
  8. Help. Step outside yourself and give to another.

Reflections

In my 71 years, I learned that most of my misery was fabricated by my ego. I worried about the worse case scenarios that never materialized. Fear and insecurity robbed me of joy. Time was wasted arguing, instead of enjoying my loved ones and this wondrous planet. Each of us is on a unique path. Our lessons are our own. Take care of mind, body and spirt. It is about the journey, not the destination. Below are some tips to lead a happy life.

  • Think and act from a place of love, for yourself and others. If you allow fear to rule your thoughts and actions, the lower vibrations of jealousy, anger, anxiety and hatred will rule
  • Express gratitude. Make a list daily if you need to jog your memory. My mother used to spout the saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.” Whatever your circumstances, there is always something for which to be grateful.
  • Be positive. Negativity turns minor inconveniences into dramatic events. Stuff happens. Your perception and response dictate the experience.
  • SMILE. Be friendly and considerate to others. You receive what you project.
  • Slow down. Do not overcommit. Set priorities and discard the inconsequential. Time with loved ones is precious.  
  • Feed the soul. Get grounded in nature and doing what you love.
  • Trust your intuition.