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Divided at Death

Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.

Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.

There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch.  Keep going, if only by baby steps.

With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.

Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and bells ringing. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me throughout the day, every day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones are reaching across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.

Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart and look around.

Single lit candle with quite flame on black background

Priorities

Brown Wooden Wheel on Top of Green Grass

What are your priorities? Make a list. Do the ego driven rungs on your ladder to success rank above better relationships, your loved ones, community service, exercise and well-being? If so, you may want to rethink it. What will be important when you face death? Will you ask to see your bank account or the special people in your life?

Goals keep you growing and moving forward, but happiness requires balance. Life is like a wheel.  Every spoke represents an area of your life. When too much energy is spent on one section, the wheel is no longer round and cannot turn.

Be aware! Time is an asset. Spend it wisely.

Turn the Page

book

 

Change, terrifies

Fear of unknown

Slam a door shut

Open anew

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Permanence not

Cycle of life

Post death, rebirth

Fluctuation

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Turning the page

Write new chapter

Adventures wait

Onward saga.

Crossing Bridges

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Gentle spirits hover close

Giving guidance

Feathers, pennies, butterflies

Signs from loved ones

 

Comprehending, understand

Catch the meaning?

Foggy, fuzzy, message be

Earthly limits

 

Gifted wonder, medium

Communicates

Souls who crossed behind the veil

Sharing wisdom

 

Love eternal, never dies

Crossing bridges

Living life with clarity

Thank you, helpers

Human Condition

Struggle through the birth canal

The baby fights for life

Tiny lungs that gasp for air

A slap across the butt

 

Pattern set for human life

It’s cruel and cold sometimes

Fraught with tests and challenges

To teach life’s lessons best

 

Question not when things are good

Enjoy the respite time

Love will keep your spirit whole

Resilient, strong, inspired

 

Time to leave will come with death

For most another fight

Struggle through the veil to light

Cross over, job well done!

Another Soul

Another one has left this place

Never to return

As parent, friend and confidant

Strong until the end

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It takes belief and open heart

Know that she lives on

Her home is peace, love, harmony

Painful body shed

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Five senses do not see her soul

There behind the veil

Be still to view her messages

Love sent from afar

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Rejoice she’s found her way back home

Angels there to guide

Another soul has left this place

Resting in the Lord.

Final Act

Final act of letting go

Cast to ocean currents

All that’s left of life well lived

Flesh to dust and ashes

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Gentle spirit living on

Freed from Earthly trappings

Soaring as the circling hawk

Time and space forgotten

Destiny

Loss, disappointment are not the end

But a reason to push past comfort

Open a chapter to destiny

Path to fulfill your divinity

Star Upon The Tree

I set the star upon the tree

A special place on top

Reminder of past Christmases

I spent with my life’s love

 

Did I appreciate those days

While running to and fro

Or did I miss the best of times

Wrapped up in Christmas rush?

 

The baking, cooking, trim the tree,

Will all of it be done

Before the family arrives

For dinner Christmas eve

 

 

We’d stay up late to build the toys

Exhausted, went to bed

Excited boys would wake by five

To see what Santa left

 

I cannot travel back in time

To capture what was lost

My photos of past holidays

Forever warm my heart

 

That special star upon the tree

Burns brighter from above

His spirit lives forever more

In everlasting love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life/Death

Daylight, Darkness

Waking, Sleeping

Life progresses

Day by day

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Status Quo, Change

Reactionary, Revolutionary

Peace, War

Life, then Death.