Category Archives: death

Grief- The Knife to the Heart

Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.

Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.

There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch.  Keep going, if only by baby steps.

With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.

Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and ringing bells. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me several times a day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones reach across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.

Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart to receive the love.

Turn the Page

book

 

Change, terrifies

Fear of unknown

Slam a door shut

Open anew

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Permanence not

Cycle of life

Post death, rebirth

Fluctuation

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Turning the page

Write new chapter

Adventures wait

Onward saga.

Journey

My path belongs to me

The contract to fulfill

Discovering myself

Through Earthly lessons learned

 

Compassion is my guide

No right have I to judge

Each travels journey planned

Humanity is one.

 

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Through the Veil

Messages from those beyond

Shunned in disbelief

Man rejects unseen attempts

Comprehend cannot

 

Spirits made of energy

Not of solid mass

Subtle twinges unexplained

Love from nearby realm

 

Feathers, pennies, dragonflies

Birds, the love they bring

Open heart and mind receive

Songs through veil they sing

 

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Guided

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Crossing Bridges

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Gentle spirits hover close

Giving guidance

Feathers, pennies, butterflies

Signs from loved ones

 

Comprehending, understand

Catch the meaning?

Foggy, fuzzy, message be

Earthly limits

 

Gifted wonder, medium

Communicates

Souls who crossed behind the veil

Sharing wisdom

 

Love eternal, never dies

Crossing bridges

Living life with clarity

Thank you, helpers

Infinite Wisdom

Infinite wisdom, time and space

Concepts man cannot embrace

Spirits and guides, to you implore

Follow, trust with them explore

 

Faith in the vastness sight unseen

Purpose, path, what does it mean?

Miracles happen every day

Inward turn, you’ll find your way.

 

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Lost Valentine

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I walk the beach, our favored spot

Searching for my love.

Pink puffs on blue, sun bursting through

Hopes are riding high

 

Be this the day I see his face

Finding his way back

To hearth and home, his family

Awaiting safe return?

 

I see a man.  He’s coming near

Bursting is my heart

The gait is wrong, the build not his

Smashed to smithereens

 

The gulls are screaming, “Silly girl.

Spirits walk with God.

You look for him, but cannot see.

Open up your mind.”

 

“A special date, a butterfly,

Feathers, pennies find

A rainbow stretched across the sky

Messages of love.”

Human Condition

Struggle through the birth canal

The baby fights for life

Tiny lungs that gasp for air

A slap across the butt

 

Pattern set for human life

It’s cruel and cold sometimes

Fraught with tests and challenges

To teach life’s lessons best

 

Question not when things are good

Enjoy the respite time

Love will keep your spirit whole

Resilient, strong, inspired

 

Time to leave will come with death

For most another fight

Struggle through the veil to light

Cross over, job well done!

Final Act

Final act of letting go

Cast to ocean currents

All that’s left of life well lived

Flesh to dust and ashes

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Gentle spirit living on

Freed from Earthly trappings

Soaring as the circling hawk

Time and space forgotten