Category Archives: grief

Grief

9/11- the world grieves, which reminds us of personal losses. I am reposting this video that I put together a couple of months ago, hoping that it will help at least one person deal with the pain of loss.

Grief- The Knife to the Heart

Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.

Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.

There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch.  Keep going, if only by baby steps.

With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.

Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and ringing bells. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me several times a day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones reach across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.

Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart to receive the love.

Journey

My path belongs to me

The contract to fulfill

Discovering myself

Through Earthly lessons learned

 

Compassion is my guide

No right have I to judge

Each travels journey planned

Humanity is one.

 

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Through the Veil

Messages from those beyond

Shunned in disbelief

Man rejects unseen attempts

Comprehend cannot

 

Spirits made of energy

Not of solid mass

Subtle twinges unexplained

Love from nearby realm

 

Feathers, pennies, dragonflies

Birds, the love they bring

Open heart and mind receive

Songs through veil they sing

 

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Guided

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Crossing Bridges

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Gentle spirits hover close

Giving guidance

Feathers, pennies, butterflies

Signs from loved ones

 

Comprehending, understand

Catch the meaning?

Foggy, fuzzy, message be

Earthly limits

 

Gifted wonder, medium

Communicates

Souls who crossed behind the veil

Sharing wisdom

 

Love eternal, never dies

Crossing bridges

Living life with clarity

Thank you, helpers

Lost Valentine

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I walk the beach, our favored spot

Searching for my love.

Pink puffs on blue, sun bursting through

Hopes are riding high

 

Be this the day I see his face

Finding his way back

To hearth and home, his family

Awaiting safe return?

 

I see a man.  He’s coming near

Bursting is my heart

The gait is wrong, the build not his

Smashed to smithereens

 

The gulls are screaming, “Silly girl.

Spirits walk with God.

You look for him, but cannot see.

Open up your mind.”

 

“A special date, a butterfly,

Feathers, pennies find

A rainbow stretched across the sky

Messages of love.”

SUPERMAN

If I were Superman, I’d fly around the world backwards

To turn the time upside down

I’d go back to when my boys were small enough

To hold upon my lap

When we were all a family, my husband, boys and grands.

Go back, I say, to simpler times.

I’d lay beside the man I chose for better or for worse

To feel his heat and love forever.

 

Accept, Forget and Live for now.  This moment’s all I’ve got.

No argument from me.

But I cannot forget what was, my life, my love, my boys.

It’s burned forever in my heart.

The boys are men that need me not. My husband’s gone back home.

Life is good, but much is lost, never to retrieve

If I were Superman, I’d fly around the world backwards

To turn the time upside down.

Final Act

Final act of letting go

Cast to ocean currents

All that’s left of life well lived

Flesh to dust and ashes

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Gentle spirit living on

Freed from Earthly trappings

Soaring as the circling hawk

Time and space forgotten

Alone in a Crowd

Alone in a crowd of strangers

Spinning, twirling where to turn

Adrift in a sea of faces

Searching, looking whom I know

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Not one of the many colors,

Sizes, genders speak to me

For each in a hurry sprinting

Dragging luggage to the gate

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Sardines, we are packed in cramped seats

Harnessed, belted, buckled tight

To wait for the looming take-off

Destination, journey’s end

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Alone in a crowd of strangers

Chaos, turmoil all around

Retreating to my quiet place

Tuning in to higher self

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Adrift in a sea of faces

Spinning, twirling where to turn

Find harmony, peace and love thoughts

Inside you and nowhere else.