Category Archives: grief
Are you a control freak, sure that you can manipulate everything and everyone? That is what your ego wants you to believe. Truth is, that everyone has free will and stuff happens. We are here to learn and grow. Obstacles will be placed in our paths. Some problems, are solvable, but painful lessons may include forgiving and letting go of hurts or the ones you love. To see a child floundering, regardless of age, gashes a parent. There is a time when stepping back is the better option. Letting go of a loved one due to death bores a hole in the heart that never heals. The love space is there for eternity. Walking away from a lover or letting go of unrequited love is gut wrenching, but if one truly loves this person, electing to move on is best. Pray for his/her happiness and your healing. Fighting to keep a tight fist on another human being is futile. Our children are through us, not our possessions. True love can only be by choice. Documents, guilt and threats cannot bind another’s love.
To let go, is one of life’s toughest challenges. Unconditional love, releases the chattels. If their love is strong, they will return. If not, new opportunities will appear. Trees lose their leaves, confident that new growth will appear in the Spring. Be open to life’s magical surprises. Be grateful for today. Happiness is a choice.
9/11- the world grieves, which reminds us of personal losses. I am reposting this video that I put together a couple of months ago, hoping that it will help at least one person deal with the pain of loss.
Grief- The Knife to the Heart
Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.
Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.
There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch. Keep going, if only by baby steps.
With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.
Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and ringing bells. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me several times a day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones reach across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.
Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart to receive the love.
My path belongs to me
The contract to fulfill
Through Earthly lessons learned
Compassion is my guide
No right have I to judge
Each travels journey planned
Humanity is one.
Gentle spirits hover close
Feathers, pennies, butterflies
Signs from loved ones
Catch the meaning?
Foggy, fuzzy, message be
Gifted wonder, medium
Souls who crossed behind the veil
Love eternal, never dies
Living life with clarity
Thank you, helpers
I walk the beach, our favored spot
Searching for my love.
Pink puffs on blue, sun bursting through
Hopes are riding high
Be this the day I see his face
Finding his way back
To hearth and home, his family
Awaiting safe return?
I see a man. He’s coming near
Bursting is my heart
The gait is wrong, the build not his
Smashed to smithereens
The gulls are screaming, “Silly girl.
Spirits walk with God.
You look for him, but cannot see.
Open up your mind.”
“A special date, a butterfly,
Feathers, pennies find
A rainbow stretched across the sky
Messages of love.”
If I were Superman, I’d fly around the world backwards
To turn the time upside down
I’d go back to when my boys were small enough
To hold upon my lap
When we were all a family, my husband, boys and grands.
Go back, I say, to simpler times.
I’d lay beside the man I chose for better or for worse
To feel his heat and love forever.
Accept, Forget and Live for now. This moment’s all I’ve got.
No argument from me.
But I cannot forget what was, my life, my love, my boys.
It’s burned forever in my heart.
The boys are men that need me not. My husband’s gone back home.
Life is good, but much is lost, never to retrieve
If I were Superman, I’d fly around the world backwards
To turn the time upside down.