Category Archives: soul
9/11- the world grieves, which reminds us of personal losses. I am reposting this video that I put together a couple of months ago, hoping that it will help at least one person deal with the pain of loss.
Hurt and Disappointed
When life deals a gut wrenching blow, self-care is vital. The sick feeling in the pit of your stomach indicates that it is time to give yourself a hug. Below are some techniques for healing.
- Eat comfort food
- Snuggle under your favorite blanket
- Pet your dog or cat.
- Go for a walk, run or other exercise that you like
- Call a friend
- Go to bed early
We cannot control others’ actions, but we can control how we respond to them. It is important to remember that you are a survivor and this too will pass.
Sending much love to all.
Life is to Live
“Life is short, and it is here to be lived.” Kate Winslet
I saw this quote today and wanted to share it with you. Many of us follow a rigid schedule, without any room for flexibility. My mother used to say that we get up, go to work, eat, sleep and do it all again, until one day we wake up old and wonder where our lives went. Structure provides direction, but too much of it stifles creativity. We function like robots, neglecting to see. Staring at our phones, we miss the beauty that surrounds. Ear buds block our ability to hear the birds. Attached, we do not relate to real people, including our families. “Friends” are on social media. Most we will never meet.
Below are 5 suggestions to start living, not existing.
- Try different routes to work or a different grocery store. Force yourself to think about what you are doing.
- Take an unplugged walk before work. Let your senses fill with sight, scents and sound. Feel the sun and breeze on your face.
- Plan dinners with family or friends sans electronics. Put phones on “Do Not Disturb.” Listen to what others are saying. Express how you feel.
- Take day trips. Get out into nature. Go somewhere you have never been. Listen to various types of music. Expand your mind. Visit museums. Step out of your comfort zone. Try new foods. Do something you have never done.
- Make a list of dreams, things you would like to do but put off because you do not have the time or money. Pick one and make it a goal. If you dream of having a yacht, think about other ways to get onto the water, sooner than later. Perhaps a canoe would fill the bill.
A wise woman told me not to wait to afford the big trips, but to build memories with mini adventures. Life is a collection of snapshots. Create moments to remember. Be present and enjoy!
Ten Ways To Lift Your Mood
- Start the day being grateful. If you do not feel it, fake it until you make it.
- Exercise. Make it a priority. If you cannot carve out a thirty-minute block, sneak in ten minutes, three times a day. Take the stairs. Pick a more distant parking space. Dance to music, while you make lunches. Do leg lifts while seated at your computer. Stand, twist, move, walk.
- Eat nourishing foods. Do not skip meals. Food fuels the body and provides the energy to cope with daily challenges. Hydrate.
- Get at least eight hours of sleep per night. There are exceptions, but make them occasional, not the norm. Exhaustion makes pebbles into mountains.
- Play. Let out the inner child.
- Laugh. Look for the humor in situations. Watch comedies. Laughter relieves stress.
- Help others. It takes the focus off your own problems and gives you warm fuzzies.
- Shut off the Ego voice in your head that makes you feel inadequate. You are your worst critic. Give yourself a hug. You deserve it.
- Get out into nature. Feel connected. Listen to the birds.
- Do what makes your heart sing. It may be chopping vegetables, planting flowers, listening to music, dancing, painting, writing, to name a few. Whatever you love, plug it into your life.
Grief- The Knife to the Heart
Death is inevitable, the looming reality, that the journey on Earth is temporary. Although we observe the life cycles of all living things, we are devastated by loss and fear our own mortality.
Grief is an emotion that cannot be avoided. The pain is excruciating when loved ones, including pets, transition to the other side. A piece of us dies with them. Functioning like robots, we tend to daily tasks, but our hearts are non-participants.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a theory that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I experienced all of these, but some during the five years that my husband fought leukemia. Denial came when he was diagnosed and relapsed from a bone marrow transplant. Bargaining was in the form of prayer during his treatment. Because he was suffering without hope of recovery, I felt acceptance and relief at his transition. Two years later, when time had dulled the illness and treatment nightmares, I was angry because he had left me to navigate life’s challenges alone. The last item is depression. Over the last seven years, I monitored my mood. Was I clinically depressed? No, but I felt a dark cloud overshadowing everything. Nothing felt the same. It was as if a nerve had been snipped from my body. I felt and enjoyed with all my senses, but the intensity was missing.
There is no time limit on grief, but we can take charge to avoid being devoured. Our loved ones are in a place of unconditional love and light. We remain here because there is more learning, growing and loving to do. Regardless of your beliefs concerning perpetual life, while here, you must survive. Reality bites when the loved one’s death puts you into financial hardship. You may have a family to feed, mortgage and other debts. Nobody is going to rush in on a white charger to save you. After the initial shock, there is no time for pity parties or for sitting in the corner to suck your thumb. Moving forward is the only way to survive. The progress may be slow. You may feel like you are slogging knee deep in molasses, with tears gushing from your eyes. The path may seem dark as pitch. Keep going, if only by baby steps.
With time, the journey becomes easier. Set realistic expectations. Become friends with grief. Know that dates, songs, pictures and places may trigger waves of sorrow. Feel and deal with the emotion when it arises. Have a good cry. When the intensity recedes, continue your healing journey.
Love and pamper yourself. Work on mind, body and spirit health. Stay open for signs from your loved ones. I experienced electronic irregularities, coins, feathers, scents, songs on the radio, random memories, a chill, tummy blips, butterflies, dragonflies, birds and ringing bells. Repeating numbers may be messages from the angels. Multiple fours appear to me several times a day. They are on the clock, computer, license plates, receipts and car odometer. Other repeating numbers include my birthday and 1111. Your loved ones reach across the veil to give you comfort and support. Be open to their love. Their vibration is higher than ours. Raise yours to meet them. Deep in sorrow, you will miss the messages.
Grief hurts and is merciless. Struggle through the void. Find joy and be grateful. Beauty surrounds. Open your heart to receive the love.